We all choose our fate and these decisions can be changed at any time

This is the third foundational principle in Transactional Analysis.

Choosing our fate links to our understanding of life script. We can make new decisions at any time which will forever change our life script. 

Imagine your life was riddled with worrying what other people think of you; you are always putting yourself out of the way to please others.

You interpret everything in the light of this, losing sleep over what they think of you and believing yourself to be fundamentally not good enough, doing things with and for other people even though you really don’t want to but doing it anyway.

You never act in your own best interests, in fact you bury your awareness of these in order to be ever ready to jump in and be there for the other people in your life.

In this scenario you believe that you are only OK if you please others.

The decision you might change here is to offer yourself permission to please YOURSELF first.

Note here the difference this would make if you were to choose this to replace the original decision to please others.

Imagine also, how changing the following could change your life:

  • I have to be STRONG for myself and everybody else, I must NEVER show weakness of any kind. I am only OK if I am STRONG.
  • I am only worthy of other people’s time, liking and love if I am PERFECT.
  • I must rush into and through everything. I can never go fast enough. I am only OK if I HURRY.
  • I must TRY really hard. I will only be OK if I keep trying, I am always trying. I may never finish anything but at least I tried.

What would you change these decisions for? Note your new decisions.

How would this change your life if you did? Note your responses.

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